The screams are heard across the state. We have been attacked by sinister aliens who are destroying us by burying us in frigid cold white stuff.
Our media has already been taken over by the alien force. They are claiming this is just “snow”. The same stuff we see every winter. But I know the truth. The aliens have been practicing their vicious attacks each year and now they have perfected them. They will not stop now until every human is frozen and buried in this white poison.
But Hah! I also know how to protect myself. I have two cases of wine in the house. I will never freeze. More antifreeze! I need to beef up my defense before I go out there, mount my trusty steed and attack them.
Back already. The bicycle got stuck in the snow and my matches wouldn’t light. Oh well, more wine!