#English, what a language!

There is no egg in the eggplant, No ham in the hamburger.  And neither pine nor apple in a pineapple. English muffins were not invented in England, French fries were not invented in France.

We sometimes take English for granted, but if we examine its paradoxes we find that: quicksand takes you down slowly, boxing rings are square, and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

If writers write, how come fingers don’t fing? If the plural of tooth is teeth, Shouldn’t the plural of booth be beeth? If the teacher taught, Why hasn’t the preacher praught?

If a vegetarian eats vegetables, What the heck does a humanitarian eat? Why do people recite at a play, yet play at a recital? Park on driveways and drive on parkways? How can the weather be as hot as hell on one day and as cold as hell on another?

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language where a house can burn up as it burns down, And in which you fill in a form by filling it out.  And a bell is only heard once it goes!

English was invented by people, not computers, And it reflects the creativity of the human race (Which of course isn’t a race at all.)

That is why: when the stars are out they are visible, but when the lights are out they are invisible. And why it is that when I wind up my watch it starts, but when I wind up this story, it ends.

About justjoe

Reader, writer and retired entrepreneur. Enjoying life!
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2 Responses to #English, what a language!

  1. Norene says:

    just wishing

  2. Norene says:

    or why does a hot water heater heat cold water, give me your hand? Really, and then how though things would be for you, with only one hand– Ava, Sofi and I talk about this all the time. Other ones that get me are there, their and there, beat and beet, bear and bare, polish and Polish ——as the King said etc. etc. etc. te amo

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